super yups

We have officially crossed the line. We’ve had pizza delivered before. Subs, books, shampoo even—never cheese and English muffins. Yes, we succumbed to the irresistible temptation of Simon Delivers. A few days ago, I went online, clicked here and there, pressed enter, and wham. Without leaving the house, dealing with carts or fellow shoppers, we had bought groceries. This afternoon between 2 and 4, “Simon” (as we liked to call him), was to ring and doorbell and deposit our bags of meat, produce, and dairy. We sat waiting patiently, and at 3:30, a huge yellow truck pulled up. “Simon” came to the door and joked that a tote or two had “taken a tumble” and “heh, heh, you didn’t buy eggs did ya?” Yes, we did buy eggs, and two were broken. I found myself not caring. Our cupboards were magically full, and I was aware that I had slipped into a lazy and frightening yuppie trap. Next we’ll be buying an SUV.