be still my heart...

...for I am living with my very own Weekend Warrior. Matt, still a softball rookie, had a run-in with second base on Sunday. When I asked him if it hurt, he modestly said, "Well, I guess I have this little tingle that could be called pain..." Man, what a tough guy.

we partied like it was 1999

There's nothing like a wedding to bring back that lovin' feeling. We shook it like polaroid picture and poured some sugar on me. I could keep going. We also rode the train...a choo choo ride it up. Congrats Kristina & Ben!

thirsty thursday

So, it was 4:30 on a Thursday, and I was drinking a gin & tonic. Yes, I was alone, and yes, I know that drinking alone is pathetic, but I wasn’t really drinking. I was doing three things: shopping online, breaking in the loveseat, and watching Seinfeld and the local weather. I just happened to be thirsty at the time. Anyway, it was a field day for the local weathermen and women—tornados here, baseball-sized hail there. Boy, were they excited. All of a sudden, I hear this scratching. This desperate, strange scratching. Vegas was outside, but she never scratched at the door. She would much rather launch herself full-speed into it and make a big thud. After a few minutes of listening to this unpleasant noise (recall here that my slow response time is likely due to the generous shot of Beefeater I gave myself), I decided to investigate. As I got to the kitchen, I heard this violent drumming. It was raining, might I say, cats and dogs. I opened the door, and a sopping wet Vegas shot past my leg, stopped, and shook. What a bad dog parent I am, eh? What's worse is that I did it again a few hours later.

new duds

We finally broke down and decided to buy furniture. Now it looks like someone actually lives here.

the new deal

So, after six years of living together, I have finally accepted that Matt is just plain bad at doing the dishes. I know that I’ve griped before, but this time we have found a solution: I do them instead. The mood in our house has since gone from confrontational to blissful.

The old way:

Me: “Matt, I swear, if you don't do the dishes tonight, I will dump them in the backseat of your car.”

Matt: “Go ahead.”

Me: Undecipherable growling followed by stomping and chocolate eating.

Now, the counter is miraculously clear every night. Matt spends his newfound free time sitting in his new recliner watching old episodes of Friends and real estate infomercials. I’m not sure that the new deal is really fair for me, but I figure I’ll make up for it by spending some quality time with my Visa card.

electricity, electricity

A few songs have been playing on repeat in my mind lately-namely when I'm blowdrying my hair and blow a fuse. See, the charms of an old house are many, but the drawbacks are a real pain in the ass. Like not having enough power to blowdry my hair in the living room when the air and fan are on in the bedroom. Geez. What were those 1940's builders thinking? One song is "The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" by The Flaming Lips. You can hear it at www.flaminglips.com (it's on the "At War With the Mystics" album). It poses an interesting question for my underpowered self: "With all your power, what would you do?" Well, if I had power, I would first become less familiar with the dripping wet trek down to the breaker box.

summertime slacka

So, yeah. It's been a while. What can I say? It has been a beautiful summer, and Vegas kept us busy rolling in dead stuff left and right. If any of you are still out there, I make you a steadfast promise not to fall off the face of the earth for months again. Until, perhaps, next summer.
This week, I present...the guts of our summer vacation.

1. We went swimming at grandma's house.

2. We did lots of homework.

3. I ran my first marathon.

4. I learned that partially eaten shoes can, in fact, be comfortable.

veg, i think it's dead

I think I liked it better when Vegas just ate ants. Yesterday, I spotted a tiny mouse in our yard (I guess you can figure out what happened next). Vegas found it eventually and spent the next twenty minutes terrorizing it. She chased it , shook it in her mouth, flung it a few feet, and trotted around the yard with it I don't think she ate it, but she did play with it to death. Literally.

quote of the day

Matt: "If we have a daughter, I hope she's as pretty as Vegas."

view from the bay

To help further our quest for a more beautiful outdoor landscape, the power company decided to dig up our sidewalk and boulevard. Thanks, guys, but next time just send cash.

a moment of silence please

Never ever trust a dog around shoes. I mean this in all seriousness. Even if he or she has never touched a shoe, if you leave them out, you're asking for it. I admit that I've been lax in the area of shoe security lately. I just toss them by the door and leave them. Vegas usually pulls on the laces a bit and leaves them be. No problem, right? I should have known better. The first sign of trouble: she chewed through a shoelace on Thursday morning. Rather than take the hint, I ignored it. Tsk tsk tsk. Now look what my poor judgement has led to...

the victims

the suspect

work in progress

Oh, our lawn. It's a place of beauty. When the snow melted, and the grass started to turn green (in our neighbors' yards), we realized something was wrong with our yard. It's simple really-we have no grass. Refusing to pay more than $7.50 for a green yard, I went to Target and picked up some all-in-one lawn patch. As you can tell, it wasn't quite enough. I finally accepted that our lawn is one giant patch in desperate need of some TLC. Too bad we lack motivation. Just check out the leaf and stick piles that have been sitting there for a week. It's kind of sad if you ask me.

aaah...fresh flowers

vegas on a binge

Vegas digested a squirrel with no problem...let's see how she handles a few dozen olives, a banana pepper, some tomatoes, a piece of pizza, and steak. No, it was not buffet night at our house; I just let my guard down. Since Vegas was outside, I cut up pizza toppings and left them on the counter. When she finally came inside, I had forgotten all about them. Well, Vegas found them and scarfed them up before I even had a clue. She looked so happy. She didn't like the mushrooms though-she left those completely alone.

After dinner, she jumped up and stole the last piece of pizza from the top of the stove. So, I put her outside as a very lenient punishment, and our next door neighbor came out with steak for her. Some punishment that was.

attack of the killer bushes

I have a bad feeling that these innocent looking bushes are going to overtake our house. They are currently very small, but there are six of them. At first, I thought they were just little plants, but as I was driving around today, I saw them everywhere…and they’re huge. I’m talking five feet square here, and if ours grow at that rate, the entire first floor will be enveloped in pink flowers. I’m guessing that someone didn’t quite read the planting directions for these suckers.

squirrels beware

Vegas is readjusting to life back at home. She just returned from two weeks at her grandparents' house where she frolicked in the woods, went swimming, and napped on the deck. It must have been fun because she is entirely bummed to be home. We call her, and she ignores us. I hold out treats, and she looks away. I finally resorted to giving her peanut butter toast to try to win her back, but when I ran out, she went across the room to sleep. So, this is what we get for our undying devotion? For the big bucks we spend on cool toys and flavored chewies?

We were relieved (kind of) to find out that there might be a reason for her behavior. On our way to Easter dinner, Matt's dad nonchalantly said, "Oh yeah. Guys, don't be surprised if Vegas gets sick. She ate a squirrel."

Great.

I don't even like squirrels running around my yard, so I can definitely live without seeing one regurgitated on my rug.

Each time we left her alone after that, I was scared we'd come back to find something insanely disgusting. We didn't. We were lucky. Though a few weeks ago she seemed to get sick for no reason at all, she now has a stomach of steel. Phew.

still standing

Aah...two weeks across the pond, and our house is still standing. Sorry for not mentioning it, but I had to keep it on the dl. You know, someone could have read this, seen that our lavish house would be vacant two weeks, and pillaged it! They could have stolen our sawn-in-half couch! Or our folding kitchen table! Oh, to think of such things.

Well, we're back. And with spring here, things could get a bit interesting on our corner. We have to do a little lawn work. With Vegas in control of the backyard, it has turned into a whitish, dead chunk of grass. It's not pretty, and I really don't want to be that house on the block with the dead grass and leaf piles. So, until next time, think lush, green thoughts, and I'll go to the hardware store for some good old fertilizer and a sprinkler or two.

the stuff is working

So, I think the Smart Puppy food is doing the trick. Vegas figured out that all she had to do was move the towel that was covering her food bag and unroll the top. She chose to carry out her stealth operation when I was in the bathroom and unable to run to her room right away. Pretty darn clever, huh? She gorged for a few minutes before I could stop her.

gimme all your lovin'

If you walk by our house, you're likely to witness this scene. Vegas, with her irresistible gaze, urging you to stop and pet her. She has a distinct ritual for wooing passersby. First, there is playful barking. This is then followed by, or done in conjunction with, racing back and forth along the fence. When you're in petting range, she leaps onto the fence, pulling her hind legs off the ground to get just a little closer to ya. Then, if you pet her, she'll likely pee a little, lick your hand, and start chewing on your sleeve. Despite her tendency to chew, she does have quite the flock of admirers.

it's alive

Look! Something is actually growing on the side of our house. I have no idea what it is (and it looks like something is eating it), but I'm pretty excited. Everything I plant dies, so I was a bit leery of planting anything. This way, maybe we'll get a flower or two without having to risk me overwatering, underwatering, or just plain old killing it.